Lessons in Leadership
How to Be a Lousy Leader
You’ve undoubtedly heard many suggestions for improving your leadership skills. But all those high expectations can be so tiresome! Perhaps you should just accept that employees will always hate you and that no more promotions will be forthcoming. So if you want to relax, forget self-improvement, and insure failure in your leadership role, simply follow the suggestions below.
1. Scream and yell whenever you’re frustrated.
After all, you’re the boss, so why should you be expected to act like a grown-up?
2. Spend most of the day in your office working at your computer.
Conversing with people just wastes time that could be better spent on producing actual work.
3. Don’t waste time explaining the bigger picture to employees.
They need to focus on their own work and not be distracted by extraneous information.
4. Never give people specific individual goals to achieve.
They should simply do whatever you tell them to.
5. Always act as though you know the answer to every question.
Saying “I don’t know” might make you look weak. So it’s better to give a wrong answer than no answer.
6. Take all the credit for your department’s accomplishments.
Since you’re the boss, their success depends on you. They couldn’t possibly have done it without you.
7. Shift blame to others
when something goes wrong.
Employees have to be held accountable for their errors. As the boss, you could never make a mistake.
Delay decisions as long as possible.
Employees must wait until you’re ready to act. If that compresses the schedule, they can work extra hours.
9. Never praise good work.
You don’t want employees to think they deserve special rewards. Their paycheck should be reward enough.
10. Avoid addressing
performance issues with problem employees.
You shouldn’t have to tell them what they’re doing wrong. They should just know.
But when you do correct people, be sure to do it in front of others.
If you humiliate employees in public, they are less likely to make the same mistake again.
12. Always insist on doing things your way.
Don’t consider different approaches or ideas. After all, you’re perfect, so your way must be best.