Question of the Week
I'm Not "One of the Girls"
For
more questions, visit our Ask the Coach Library.
Q: I
am a male employee who has trouble relating to female
supervisors and managers. I don’t mind them personally, but I
resent the way they deal with events in their lives, like
divorces or weddings.
When women managers have some sort of life event
going on, they spend lots of time talking with female employees,
but completely ignore me and the other men. They don’t even
acknowledge our existence.
I am usually the first person to arrive at the
office, but the female managers don’t even say “good morning”
when they come in. They just start chatting with the other
women. How can I keep a positive attitude when I am excluded
from their conversations?
A: Sounds
like the female version of the “good old boys network”.
Managers should never create in-groups and out-groups among
their employees.
However, many guys would pay good money to avoid detailed
feminine discussions about relationships and personal
activities. So these women may assume that you simply wouldn't
be interested.
If
you want to be included in the early-morning chats, don’t wait
for an invitation. Instead, take the initiative and join the
conversation.
Ask
how the wedding plans are going or how little Johnny is doing in
pre-school. Then share a few anecdotes from your own life.
Once
the gals know you want to participate, I guarantee that you will
no longer be ignored. Although eventually you may wish that you
were.
Related information from Your Office Coach:
§
“Political
Pitfalls for Men & Women” from our “Office Politics”
section:
http://www.yourofficecoach.com/Topics/political_pitfalls.htm
To see previous
questions, visit our Ask the
Coach library.