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Is your boss driving you crazy? Do your coworkers frustrate you? Are you worried about your career? Send your concerns to Dr. Marie McIntyre. Due to high volume, not all questions can be answered, but Marie will respond to as many as possible.

Marie has more than 20 years experience in coaching, human resources, and management. She writes the syndicated column "Your Office Coach", which appears in more than 70 newspapers nationwide. Marie has authored two books and serves as a workplace expert for the Lifetime TV website and the National Institute of Business Management.

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My Former Friend is a Problem

Q: The owner of our company has hired several of my friends, based on my recommendation. He trusts my judgment because I have been with him ever since he started the business ten years ago. The last person I recommended was "Angela", a woman whom I have known for fifteen years.

Unfortunately, after Angela was hired, I learned that her husband recently left her because she drinks every night until she passes out. I have not shared this information with the owner, since it doesn't seem job-related. However, I am finding it increasingly difficult to watch Angela misrepresent herself at the office.

Angela talks constantly about what a hard life she has, so management gives her special consideration even though she doesn't do a very good job. In reality, her friends have given up trying to help her because she habitually lies to everyone.

Given her tendency to lie, I'm afraid Angela might start spreading false rumors about me at work, which could cause the owner to stop trusting me. I am also tired of her stealing my parking space. What should I do about this woman? Former Friend

A: The parking issue is easy, so let's start with that one. If you have an officially designated space, you should simply inform Angela that she is not allowed to park there. However, if this spot is "yours" only by habit or history, then anyone arriving before you has an equal right to occupy it.

Your anxiety about damaging rumors seems premature, given that nothing has actually happened. Based on your description, Angela is an incompetent, lying alcoholic, while you are a respected employee with a ten-year track record. Her ability to harm you would therefore seem to be quite limited. In my experience, chronic liars are soon discovered and seldom believed.

Finally, regarding the "special consideration" that Angela receives from management, the key question is whether these privileges interfere with your own productivity. If so, ask your immediate supervisor for help in correcting the situation. But if not, then you might as well accept the fact that Angela's life choices and work habits are really not your problem.

To find out if you irritate your colleagues, see

Do You Annoy Your Co-Workers?

To see previous questions, visit our Ask the Coach library.

Marie G. McIntyre, Ph.D. specializes in helping people work together more effectively. She does individual career coaching, helps organizations develop leadership and teamwork, and has worked with such clients as Home Depot, Cisco, Prudential, AT&T, and Panasonic. Marie has held several management positions in business and government, including director of human resources at a Fortune 500 company. She is the author of Secrets to Winning at Office Politics and The Management Team Handbook. Marie lives in Atlanta, Georgia.

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