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Is your boss driving you crazy? Do your coworkers frustrate you? Are you worried about your career? Send your concerns to Dr. Marie McIntyre. Due to high volume, not all questions can be answered, but Marie will respond to as many as possible.

Marie has more than 20 years experience in coaching, human resources, and management. She writes the syndicated column "Your Office Coach", which appears in more than 70 newspapers nationwide. Marie has authored two books and serves as a workplace expert for the Lifetime TV website and the National Institute of Business Management.

Particularly interesting topics may be reprinted online or in the newspaper unless you request otherwise.

Question of the Week

I'm Not "One of the Girls"

For more questions, visit our Ask the Coach Library.

Q: I am a male employee who has trouble relating to female supervisors and managers. I don’t mind them personally, but I resent the way they deal with events in their lives, like divorces or weddings.

When women managers have some sort of life event going on, they spend lots of time talking with female employees, but completely ignore me and the other men. They don’t even acknowledge our existence.

I am usually the first person to arrive at the office, but the female managers don’t even say “good morning” when they come in. They just start chatting with the other women. How can I keep a positive attitude when I am excluded from their conversations?

A: Sounds like the female version of the “good old boys network”. Managers should never create in-groups and out-groups among their employees.

However, many guys would pay good money to avoid detailed feminine discussions about relationships and personal activities. So these women may assume that you simply wouldn't be interested.

If you want to be included in the early-morning chats, don’t wait for an invitation. Instead, take the initiative and join the conversation.

Ask how the wedding plans are going or how little Johnny is doing in pre-school. Then share a few anecdotes from your own life.

Once the gals know you want to participate, I guarantee that you will no longer be ignored. Although eventually you may wish that you were.

Related information from Your Office Coach:

§ “Political Pitfalls for Men & Women” from our “Office Politics” section:

http://www.yourofficecoach.com/Topics/political_pitfalls.htm

To see previous questions, visit our Ask the Coach library.

Marie G. McIntyre, Ph.D. specializes in helping people work together more effectively. She does individual career coaching, helps organizations develop leadership and teamwork, and has worked with such clients as Home Depot, Cisco, Prudential, AT&T, and Panasonic. Marie has held several management positions in business and government, including director of human resources at a Fortune 500 company. She is the author of Secrets to Winning at Office Politics and The Management Team Handbook. Marie lives in Atlanta, Georgia.

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